We husbands seldom realize that it’s actually our wives that go through tremendous amount of mental trial, physical agony, and heart-wrenching moments during the pregnancy period. I’ve been told that all this pain and burden is borne just so that we can become gratified parents of beautiful children; that it’s all worth it.
It’s more about the 9 odd months of the pregnancy that are more important than the actual delivery; it’s in those few months that most couples either become close to each other or a gap is built between them.
My wife’s pregnancy of our first-born was no less than a roller coaster ride. Being first time pregnant couple, we had moments of sheer joy and moments of sheer melancholy. I remember she came out of the ultrasound room, seemingly in utter shock while voicing the words “I am pregnant!!” ………… It was music to my ears!
The first trimester was very sensitive for us, while the second trimester was comparatively better in which we used to hang out, be social, and do lots of shopping with relative ease. It’s the third and final trimester that are the most cumbersome on the mother.
Due to GDM, the delivery was scheduled within the 39th week by the doctor. But as the roller coaster ride goes, my daughter-to-be had other plans. On the afternoon of a day earlier than the scheduled delivery date, my wife had severe pain and discharge. We rushed her to the hospital where the nurses and doctors did a great job of providing necessary care and mental support. After almost a day of waiting for the dilation to be accurate, the doctor prepared her for the C-section since the position of the baby was not ideal for the normal delivery. (Yes, am sure you the readers will have a lot of questions here, but best to leave it for the comments section.)
After the lengthy and pain-staking waiting, my wife was finally taken to the Surgery Room, and that’s when the husband’s ordeal truly begins. Is she alright, had I opted for the best hospital, is the right doctor treating her; these are just a few of the questions that went through my mind. All a husband could do at that time is just be patient and hope for the best for both the mother and new-born.
At last, the surgery went by well, the nurse came out of the surgery room, “Here’s your daughter” she said, and it’s at that moment that I remember having an overwhelming feeling of joy and an increased level of admiration for my wife.
I won’t say I did an amazing job as a husband, but it sure was an eye-opening, invigorating, enlightening, and weighty experience, bundled into one. I’m sure, that for mothers-to-be, the list of adjectives is a lot lengthier than men’s. It’s only after you have witnessed firsthand that you can truly appreciate the level of strength, tolerance, and patience pregnant women have.
So, husbands and fathers-to-be, gear up on those guidebooks, websites, and videos on how to be a good parent and husband, you sure will need them. But know for certain, that it will always be a roller-coaster ride for you. Hold on to your loved one, your pillar of strength, the person who is bearing your child, and try to be a lot more understanding and indulgent, she will definitely need someone with those traits to rely on, especially on the final day at the delivery / surgery room.
An epistle to the mother of my child(ren)
I may not always be the sort of husband you must have idealized, but can assure you that witnessing you being pregnant, being awed by the strength you displayed throughout, especially during the 19-hour delivery ordeal, I have surely realized the immense power of women.
Seeing our daughter, her energy, her undiminished urge to observe and experience things, I’ve realized one more thing; which is, that our main trial has just begun (pun intended)!!
Wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.