Ask the Internet what is marriage, and the standard definition you will come across is that it is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage).
Is it truly about establishing the Rights and Obligations or is it more so about understanding and respecting your life partner’s likes, goals, wishes, needs, and desires?
Yes it’s good to have sound rules and limitations that are based on morality, empathy, and selflessness, but should they really be dictated by the society or their rituals? Is mankind really equipped to define for itself the morality of marriage?
Being a strong minded and opinionated person, I’ve always had difficulty in blending within society and their standard rituals, that’s why I feel truly blessed to have a life partner who is continuously striving to be more empathetic and respectful towards my personal beliefs.
My wife and I may not see eye to eye on most things, but what’s more important to me is that there’s definitely the desire to at least have the eyes meet at some angle.
To me, one of the most important process within a marriage is about first foregoing of one’s own notions, really listening to the partner, and then doing utmost to understand their words (both spoken and unspoken). But that’s not all, marriage is also about instilling comfort and security within the relationship, and protecting your partner from harm, be it physical or mental, instead of enacting it.
There will always be arguments and debates, especially in a relationship where the two individuals have very diverse personalities and viewpoints. But what may make the relationship stronger is when we let these arguments and debates add to the recipe of the individualistic and diversified personalities, instead of rebuking them.
Partners in marriage should not pull each other down. They should understand that they are not equal; they are individuals with separate and distinguished roles, duties, and personalities.
As a young man i used to dread the word Compromise (within relationship). I used to say “How can I compromise in anything?!!”. What I’ve realized so far is that marriage is a continuous learning curve that does not have an end-point. Two separate minds are involved within the relationship and that mind-machine runs 24x7x365, hence compromising and being selfless amazingly strengthens the marriage bond. Isn’t that what empathy is all about?.
An epistle to my wife
We may not have been together for ages, but the last 3 years have been life changing. I’m blessed to have you, our children, and eachothers’ extended families in our lives.
You have indeed become an important pillar that holds the foundation of my personality, albeit there’s still a lot to improve upon, but am certain that collectively we shall become better at this voyage of ours.